Monday, May 3, 2010

Unseen Pitfalls of Vampirism

I was watching a vampire TV show recently and a thought crossed my mnd.

You never see a poor vampire.

All the vampires on television and in the movies are very well off. They have castles, loft apartments, houses with sphinxes as decorations. They have great cars and humans under there thrall. Rarely is a vampire poor. You never see a vampire that has a shitty job. They are not busboys at all night cafes or telemarketers waiting for your call on the home shopping network. If they have a job it's a doctor or cop. Something cool. Or sometimes even a Count.

So did the vampires with the cool castles rob their victims after killing them? Or did they leave them alive, broke, but with no memory of the bloodletting or robbery?
Are they theives breaking into places (Wait! They'd need to be invited in!) stealing money and jewelry? They'd be great cat burglers. But if you had a bunch of loot, and you turned into a bat, would all that stuff fall out of your pockets or would you be a pudgy bat? Hmmm...

You'd need to be wealthy because you are going to live forever. Because who would want to live forever but have to work forever. Have you been tired from a long work week? Imagine a couple hundred years of that. You'd walk into the sunlight on purpose.

Another bad thing about being a vampire is all the eyebrow acting. Oh, wait, that was Twilight and it's sequel...

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