Halloweens Past

When I was a kid I wore a different costume every year for Halloween. As I got older they sort of reflected me as a person at that specific time. I remember some of the ones that were costumes that were cool to me, but didn't tell the world who I was. In 3rd grade I was a werewolf just like my brother. Mainly because we got some cool werewolf masks and my mom made us furry gloves to wear.

In 4th grade is where me as an individual started to show thru my choices. In 4th grade I was the Incredible Hulk (pictured above). A short, skinny (maybe 75 pound) Hulk. Because I was short and skinny I was picked on by bullies in school. A lot. So I was an angry kid with no power to fight back. Hence the Hulk. I had green sweats, my mom made purple pants, I had green make up on my face and hands, and my hair was blackened with shoe polish. That was a bitch to get out. I remember lots of shampooing.

In 5th grade I was Mr. Spock from Star Trek. I was hanging out with a kid up the street named Scott. He was a year or two older than me and super bright (He became a computer guru who got his first computer in 1980. Ended up working at IBM). He was Captain Kirk and I was Spock. I was still short and skinny, but I was very bright and to combat being bullied became logical.

In 6th grade, I don't remember what I was, but I went trick or treating with a friend who was one of the popular jocks in 6th grade, Matt. I think I was a basketball player. I was on a team, but because I was short and skinny, I sucked at basketball. But I tried.

7th grade. Don't remember. But I went with Ryan and Dave from my homeroom class. We were the 3 Musketeers. That's what Mrs. Hartman, our teacher, called us because we always hung out together.

8th grade. No idea. Went trick or treating with Ryan and Dave and Todd. The 4 Musketeers.

The costume didn't matter as much as the friends I was with. They gave me a sense of belonging to a group.

In high school me and about 8 of the people who I played D&D with went dressed as our D&D characters. So we were packing a lot of weapons. A lot of weapons. We were walking in Bill's neighborhood when a police car stopped us. We looked like a gang from medieval times walking the streets of Scottsdale. The cop pulled his gun and told us to disarm ourselves. It took about 2 minutes because we had so many weapons on us as part of the costumes. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, but there was a gun pointed in our general direction. He asked us what we were doing. Halloween, walking to a nearby party in costume. He said, "OK" and let us go on our way. Times were simpler then...

So all these costumes were snippets of my psyche. And the costumes I choose to do at conventions are also a window onto my mind and how I perceive myself. I slip down the middle; Heroes and Villains. (Villains have the better dialogue and don't run as much.)

So who were you at Halloween and how did it show the world who you were? Are?

Ignorance.

I was reading the comments from an article on Yahoo. This was the comment from an Arkansas school board member who is resigning from the school board for gay bashing. Not merely gay bashing, but suggesting that gay teens should just kill themselves. And he "enjoyed the fact that they often give each other AIDS and died." The comment in defense of this man is pasted without any help from me. All the grammar, and misspellings are their own.

"We should pray for peoples in the world today, because every body talking about their right, we have a right to respect each other to. I don't care what you say, If everybody was gay there wouldn't be any girls are boys to turn gay, because ther wouldn't be any pregant women,so God wouldn't say be fruitfuly and replesin the earth, so God is a lie, that what all you people are saying, ok women stop getting pregant, let the gay have it, because i know that God made male and felmale, that why you train up a child in the way he are she should go and they will not part from it. God got right to, God right is be ye holy, for i am holy, have you went to God in pray and ask him to help me get rid of thing you don't like about your self, and was serious about it, because the God i serve can do the imposible thing, see he heal me, deliver me, set me free from sin isures, done so much for me, you got to mean business when dealing with God. I am going to keep on praying for all the peoples in this whole wide world. Nancy"

This seems to be written by someone who believes in God. But apparently not in a dictionary, correct grammar, or sentence structure. Or God's mercy or forgiveness. This person should talk to someone who is gay. Ask them if it's a choice. This is Sarah Palin's America of God fearing common people.

But I'm an elitist liberal...

Leg Update

I went to the doctor to have him check out my leg. I wasn't that concerned about the bruising, and some of the pain was less, but there was a lump under my skin. Not a bruise. This was a lump that could be moved side to side, but not up and down. Tendon cut loose? Muscle? What the fuck?

The doctor thinks I may have torn some muscle when I fell. Not the whole thing, but a portion. If I had torn my quad loose, there'd be a BIG lump. So I have been referred to a sports medicine doctor to see what can be learned with an ultra sound...

More later.

Phone Envy

I hate to admit it, but I had a bout of Phone Envy this week.

I have a phone, not a smart phone, but one where I can get email and receive calls. But I don't have the capability to go online and see websites or crap like that. And normally I don't care about that. My phone is for communication, I don't live my life online or thru my phone. But this week I was working a gig that had me sitting for maybe eight hours. I was watching the guy next to me, who is just as bored as me, play with his Droid phone and do stuff my bored mind would have loved to be doing too.

I was asking him questions about his phone and his plan and his service for the Droid. Right then is when I wanted what he had. I can get a new phone because mine is 2 years old and could be replaced without much cost. But I still like my phone. It's been durable as hell, considering the times I dropped it and hit it against things as I've been walking. Would a smart phone be able to take the hit? I don't know...

So I will continue to research this stuff, ask people about their phones, and eventually I will upgrade my phone.

Until then I will be glancing at other people's phones to see how they size up. It's not the size it's how you use it, right?

Language Fail

I'm currently reading a book called "Grumbles From the Grave" by Robert A Heinlein. He's a science fiction author probably best know for "Stranger in a Strange Land." This book is a bunch of his correspondence with his publishers and agent and others. This is when people wrote letters longer than "LOL"...

In one of the letters he comments to a publisher that his vocabulary is probably 300,000 words. I find that number astounding, impressive and somewhat sad. Sad because the number of words in people's vocabulary is ever decreasing.

I read a lot. I read a lot of obscure science fiction/fantasy and know words like "erebus" (I'd say look it up, but it's not in most dictionaries. It means darkness. Really dark, primordial darkness. For example: "Conan walked through the erebus darkness of the tunnel, sword at the ready in his right hand." Thank you Robert E. Howard.). But in the world today there are fewer people reading, fewer words being used by those writing, and things are being lost... This is bound to happen in a world of texts and shortening words to fit into 140 character tweets.

I work with riggers. In a previous blog I mentioned how every other word out of some of their mouths is "fuck." I love the word FUCK; I say it quite often and liberally, usually while driving. But when people use it so often in place of other words they forget how to talk like educated people. Erudition should not be lost, but I think it's getting lost and there will eventually be a big price to pay when the dumbed down masses take over the world. (Sarah Palin for President!)

I find it annoying when people are proud of their ignorance. "Fuck yeah! That's the way common Americans talk!" Common is not good. Common is WalMart. Common didn't get us to the moon. And common will never get us back to the moon or beyond.

So I guess I'm saying pick up a book, and "Soar beyond the common bound." (Sorry, Mercutio, my old friend.)

90 Days Delayed Slightly

I started the exercise program on Monday! Did the work out for arms and chest. Then I ate a bunch of egg whites. Less than 3 hours later, I ate lunch. At 3 pm I had some cashews. Dinner at 5 pm. Then at 9 pm I had more egg whites. The whole fucking day I was hungry. This was not my normal demons, they were in ravenous overdrive.

Tuesday. I did the plyometrics. Which is a lot of dynamic jumping. I modified it a bit to accommodate my foot. This was tough; I was sweating like crazy into the shirt specially designed to whick away moisture. I watched the clock on the screen wind down. When I finished I showered and worked on clearing my things out of the house where I'd been housesitting for 28 days (86 total for the year so far!). As I walked out the front door with my hands full, I slipped on the wet brick steps and went down. I didn't fall forward, I went into what might be called a quad stretch very fast. It was excruciating. I was lying on the grass trying to get my leg straightened out. I left the stuff outside and went into the house. I had a glass of cold water on the table from working out, I took 2 ibuprophen and sat down on the couch.

I was sweating and shocky. My vision was a bit jumbled. I was in shock. And for the first time in ages I cried for a few minutes. I was in such pain and so disappointed that this would happen on day 2 of training, I just let it out. I needed a cathartic cleaning lately anyway. I iced my thigh for a long time and sat in the dark.

Fuck! What Fucking Next? Jesus!

After the drugs kicked in I was walking around in pain, but no limp. It didn't seem like I tore anything. And the funny thing is, if I had fallen without doing a hard leg workout, I might have been hurt more because all my muscles were cold.

So right now I'm waiting for the leg to feel better. Taking painkillers and anti inflametories. Waiting until I can start doing P90X again.

Fuck me! Extremeness sucks!

90 Day Experiment

I have succumbed to the vanity and the fad of a workout program. I'm trying the P90X workout thingie. I hate to say it but I finally caved.

You see, after I injured my foot last year, April 2009, I have been afraid to do some things like run. I'm concerned that I will be in pain, cause the foot to hurt progressively more, and more. But last week I played kick ball and the foot was okay. Nothing more painful than what I deal with on the day to day basis. Because I had the fear of chronic pain and aggrivating the injury, I was more sedentary. Well, sedentary for me. My sedentary is other peoples active.

A friend of mine is doing it and he was bugging me to try. I was protesting the cost, but found it on ebay for about half. It arrived in the mail yesterday and I looked it over. Besides the workout there is also a very strict diet plan. This is problematic to me for a number of reasons.

1. I'm a picky eater. It has reached a level of notoriety among my friends that I find embarrassing. So much of the food listed in the diet are things I don't eat and a bunch I've never tried. Tofu? Turkey bacon? Egg whites? Okay, I've had them as part of the egg, but I like the yolk. You cook it over easy so that when the yolk breaks it oozes all over the plate and you sop it up with toast. Awesome.

2. This will cause my metabolism to increase!?! Fucking really? So instead of being ravenously hungry every 4 hours, it will be every 3? 2? Ugh. I don't look forward to that and am trying to think of a protein powder or some power bars to take up the slack.

3. I don't want a 6 pack of abs. Really. I have gained about 10 -15 pounds since the injury and I want to get rid of the jiggle in my flesh that I have never had before. This seems the fastest way to get rid of it. I have always been thin. To the point that a girlfriend's mom commented that I looked gaunt. (Thanks, Judy)

4. I have injuries that have a bit of pain all the time. I'm not going to enumerate them here, but I can be in pain just standing. I have a stoic attitude about it. There's not much to be done. I could maybe try some surgeries to fix some of the joints that I have over used rigging and skiing and other dangerous activities, but I don't want people cutting into me. It's a cost thing as well. Also I know people who have had knee surgery and they wished they had never done it. The difference was negligible and they are still in pain.

So this will be an experiment. Can I put up with all this? The hunger and food thing will be the hardest for me, I think.

Will I come out looking like a superhero? Ok, that might be cool. Isn't the secret of any weight loss; eat less, eat better, move more?

I start tomorrow... BTW. I hate ab work...

A Blog, Yes...But I Want More

Having a blog is kind of cool. I can publicly/privately vent about things that are on my mind. But for all my facestious bluster and anger, there are things I would like to write about, but I don't. Things that are just too personal to me (i.e. Family stuff). I have nowhere to go with the angst and confusion. These situations I care deeply about, but I can't help in anyway. And I hate that powerless feeling.

This week was strange in how it all worked out. What took up my time and vexed me. And my normal energy I have churned around in my chest and had no where to go.

Like a Ferrari that never gets out of the garage.

Freedom of Speech

The Supreme Court heard the case of the Westboro Baptist Church this week. These are the assholes who protest outside the funerals of service men who died in Iraq and Afghanistan with big signs that say "God Hates Fags." "God Hates America."

I hate to say it because they are such humungous douche bags, they do have the right to free speech. Freedom of Speech should cover this. But though they have the right to do something so vile and reprehensible, they shouldn't do it. It's cruel and heartless and shows that their small minds are filled with stupidity that only people who have a mind like a fist have.

They think that America is brought low by it's tolerance of gays? Dude, you should accidentally be run over by a truck on outside one of your protests. Then at your funeral 100,000 people should hold up signs that say "God Hates You." & "You Will Burn in Hell for all Eternity." Then see how your family feels.

Every time they protest, there should be a counter protest. These idiots are the group that stopped protesting Comic-Con this year because the 120,000 people started protesting THEM. So get out some cardboard and sharpies and make some signs that mock the 5 people protesting funerals.