Beards

I'm in day 9 of growing a beard for a movie I shoot next Sunday. I haven't had a beard since I did The Lark at the Knightsbridge in, uh, 1996? Something like that. Could have been 97. But I think it was 96. Because I haven't had a beard in over a decade, I forgot just how annoying they are.

I don't recall if it ever stopped itching, but I'm stuck with the itching right now. Did the itching ever stop? Does the itching ever stop? So as I'm enduring this I'm thinking about the world. I think if all of the Taliban shaved, they might not be so irked. Because their problem is they have itchy faces and Allah won't let them shave. So they are mad, just in general. If they shaved and used a little aftershave lotion the Mid East might calm down.

It may not be Shock and Awe, but it's a theory that is really inexpensive to impliment.

Life Class #2

I went to another life class in Santa Monica last night. I'm now on the email list. So the last Sunday of every month this class happens. They have 2 models. Over 4 hours, one does 2 long poses, and one does 25 minute poses. There are all levels of talent and experience. I'm at the lower end. What I see in my head doesn't translate to the paper. Yet. I have always had a good eye with a camera, but I don't have to get the subject right, the camera captures the person.

Last night I wasn't shy about going. I didn't know any of the models, so I'm just one of 30-40 people sketching them. Despite the models being nude, it's really not sexual. I'm looking at shape and shadow and trying to get the drawing as right as my "talent" can. One pose, however, was sexual in my mind. The model was on all fours. She was posed like you would see in a Frazetta or Boris painting; kind of primal and sexual without being overt. That pose woke up the animal in me. For that one my artistic detatchment was not completely detached. The drawing was okay, but not great.

I find bodies are easier to draw. Faces are hard. You have to get them right or they don't look like the person. The body is more subjective. So if the angle is not right, or you fudge an arm position, that's okay. If you fudge a nose or an eye you end up with cubism.

The models walked around the room when they were on small breaks and looked at the sketches. There was a guy in front of me who was really good. He also had a cool perspective. Not only did he draw the 2 models on the stage, he drew the stage, the background, and the foreground of the other people in front of his position who were also sketching the models. I never thought of including them in my view. Now I may...

I'm going to go back and do the class when I can. I like drawing. And why not draw nudes? I'd practice, but I don't know anyone who would pose so I can practice. If I draw without a model, it ends up looking very much like a comic book.

Value

I was watching TV the other day, I can't remember what show. It was political. Bill Maher? Rachel Maddow? The guest on the show was a guy who in 2008 predicted the collapse of the real estate and the subsequent recession. He's predicting another recession for later this year. (Hope he's wrong...)

But that's not what I'm writing about. He was asked about gold as a refuge for cash. Gold has gotten to more than$1200 and people are selling old jewelry and whatnot to get some hedge against uncertain times. The guy replied to the question about gold thusly "invest in Spam. It lasts for 1000 years and you can eat it."

He said gold has no real value. Which is true. Something, anything, gold, diamonds, Picassos are only as valuable as what someone else is willing to pay for the item. Gold is pretty; diamonds too. (though my tastes have always leaned toward Tiger's Eye or now Jade.) But you don't need it to live and in the event of worldwide economic collapse, a pantry full of Spam really would prove more valuable than gold.

In the event of destruction it pays to be pragmatic.

If the world is going to be destroyed by a meteor the size of Africa who do you pray to? Scientists with big ass Guns.

They might be able to do something about it.

So let the people who want to spend money on gold do so. I'm buying Spam. (With the hope I'd be able to barter it for real food. Like hot dogs.)

Fuck, Fuckin', Fuck...

This one is not about my sex life, this is about cussing.

I work in a lot of places and with a variety of people. When I am working as a rigger in Orange County, I am always surprised how much casual cussing takes place. I know the word Fuck can be used as a noun, verb, adverb, adjective, and pronoun. But I am rarely surprised by it.

I cuss. Sometimes a lot. It may depend on if I am driving on the 405. If that is the case, the words I am using are usually compound words. "Dickweed" has been moving up the ranks (though I haven't figured out a specific meaning) and there's the ever popular "Fuckbrain." Which is pretty self explanatory.

But whenever I work in Orange County with the riggers there I come back watching what I say a bit more. I am always surprised with the amount of cussing I encounter, though I shouldn't be after working there this long. Here's an example of a conversation. Dan was telling me he was going to go 4 wheeling over the Memorial Day holiday. "I gotta go home and fucking pack. Then I gotta got to the fucking bank and get out $500. I need to get a shovel and a fucking axe and ratchet strap them to the fucking bumper." I don't think he had any idea he was cussing that much. The word was meaningless to him. It was an adjective. That's all.

I was working with some kids last week. And I watched what I said, but their definition of cussing was much higher than even what I was watching out for. I said to Reno, who I have known his entire life, that I would "kick his ass" and a little girl said, "Take that back!" I didn't know that both the word "ass", and the threat of violence was the "no no." I can take Reno in a fight, I'm sure of that, but he knows I'm not serious and would jump in front of a train to save him.

The riggers in Orange County aren't stupid. Some didn't go to college maybe most. The things they work on 100 feet in the air take a different kind of smarts. It's not verbal. It's spatial. Figuring out what lengths of wire rope are needed to hang a motor while balancing on a piece of steel is different than working in an office. It's like longshoreman or teamsters. It's a macho world with a lot of ego and bravado. The riggers who are stupid or incompetent get sorted out very quickly and never do the job again.

It's an interesting character study... But shut the fuck up.

Children's Theatre

I just spent the last 6 days helping out a children's theatre group. I've known a couple of the kids more than half their lives (or all) and I was asked to help stage manage the show. I got to tell you I haven't worked that hard in years. I wasn't being paid much but that's okay. (I was told I should have been paid a lot more. Nice hear.) I wanted to help out my friends and the parents. I do wish I could have seen the show.

The show was "Damn Yankees." And I never read the script before, but I saw it at the Old Globe in 1993 and met George Abbott when he came to see the show. He was 105 years old. The thing about this script is there are lots of really small scenes and a lot of people to move around from place to place. With sets, and props. The set changes were well planned, but getting 6-8th graders, 38 of them, moved around quietly was a trick. Normally kids from ages 11-14 are a bit flighty, but this group was generally pretty good. They did what me and the other stage manager asked them to do; sometimes we had to ask more than once for many things. Some of the kids were great. They had been in shows before and were very professional. One or two of the kids knew more about where things were meant to go and what prop ended up where than anyone else did. Which was very handy at times. Many of the kids were just kids. It was refreshing.

One person tried to give us the lowdown on which kids we would have to watch out for. We said we'd figure it out for ourselves. These kids weren't dumb or mean, but marched to a beat unique to themselves. Once you figure that out, dealing with them is easy. The show itself came together at the last minute in an amazing way. (Got to admit it was a bit scary.) It had it's freaky moments. Like 2 fire alarms going off in the theatre from the smoke machine pumping out too much smoke and the ventilation being shut off. Or just pumping out too much smoke. One alarm was before the show started opening night. The next night it happened in Act 2 as the other stage manager and I were moving a set piece. I was thinking as I walked thru the cloud onstage, "Too Much Smoke! Shut it down!!!!" When I was able to tell the booth the smoke was too much, seconds later the light started flashing with piercing sirens for accompaniment. They continued on like little troopers and the alarm was shut off rather quickly compared to the previous day. It's a story they will tell for the rest of their lives. Which is kinda cool.

We also had a loose tooth and one of the girls hurt her finger. It might be broken. She was upstairs in the dressing room with about 8 kids 2 adults tending to her. I had to run up and get the kids because the show was not over! It doesn't stop because of a injury unless it's to a lead, and in one show, a long time ago, I saw a lead go to a hospital and the understudy took over at intermission. She calmed down, got a makeshift splint on her finger and had an ice pack in her hand to go out for curtain call and the final song. Very proud of her.

After the show, I heard of one of the kids was going to quit the show in rehearsals because his homies were hassling him about the play and it wasn't cool to them. He stuck with it which I find admirable. He did it because he liked it. He did it because it's fun. I hope he keeps challenging himself.

I really liked the job. It was exhausting but very fun. I got thanked constantly by the kids. I hope they had a positive experience and I think they understood that when I was running around looking for this kid or that prop that my speed or curtness was because I wanted them to have a great show. I think they understood. It was a great show. Hope to see the DVD sometime to see what I missed.

Bravo Television -- People Behaving Badly

I watch Bravo Television to catch reruns of The West Wing. I love the intelligent dialogue and the inside view (though fictional) of the way government runs. During the Bush years I wanted my President to be smart like Bartlett. I record the show on my DVR and watch when I have a chance.

There are a lot of commercials for the other content on Bravo. The other shows are: The Real Housewives of Orange County, New York City, New Jersey; The Millionaire Matchmaker; America's Next Top Model; Top Chef Las Vegas, Top Chef Masters; 9 By Design; Flipping Out; Million Dollar Listing; Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D-List.

All these shows have a common denominator. A low common denominator of people acting, behaving badly. They are mean and backstabbing and egotistical and treat people, generally, like shit. This is entertainment? Watching people melt down and yell at each other, and they have no problem with them looking like assholes on television. I wouldn't invite any of them to a BBQ or want to chat with them in a bar.

There is a show that can be interesting. Inside The Actor's Studio. I think, however, they ran out of actors because James Lipton recently did a fauning interview with Sean Combs. Yup. P Diddy, Puff Daddy, whatever he is called now. Is he an actor. No. Celebrity? Yeah. Businessman? Hell yeah (But people are paying way too much to have "Sean John" on their sweats). But not an actor.

There's a new show coming on soon. Work of Art. The Next Great Artist. A number of artists (16? 20?) are going to sculpt, paint and photograph in a competition to see who is America's next great artist. This is not going to be similar to the comptitions that happened with Michelangelo and Bernini. Those tooks months or years with the end result being the David. The end product was judged, not the process. You didn't see Michelangelo yelling at his assistants or throwing chisels in a tantrum. But how do you have a show like this when art is so subjective anyway? How can it be judged? Modern art especially is so vastly different than what was art even 100 years ago. So what does the show come down to? Flamboyant "artsy" people behaving badly. Let me set my DVR.

Now, I can totally be an asshole. I yell at people when driving on the 405. I'm just as base and crude and petty as those people at times. But I do it in private. I don't revel in it. I don't seek out cameras to show the rest of the world the worst parts of my being.

But would people tune in to watch someone who is nice and kind? I don't know. But it would never sell to Bravo TV.

Standing By Your Convictions... Oh, Wait...

John McCain, senator from my home state has gone batshit crazy and will say totally anything to keep his job.

McCain used to be someone you could respect even if you didn't agree with 90% of his views. He had conviction and stuck with it. These last elections, presidential and senatorial, have made him a super hack politician. He will say anything to keep his job. There is a primary challenge from J. D. Hayworth, a very conservative Republican, former congressman. Because his views are so "Tea Party" McCain has gone against everything he ever said as a somewhat moderate Republican.

Immigration is probably the best example. In 2006 he and Teddy Kennedy proposed immigration reform that would have been reasonable in light of the 12 million illegals already here. But now he is agreeing with the AZ 1070 bill. And he wants to "finish the dang fence." Strong language there Senator.

He's so afraid of losing his job he's lost every principle he ever had. I don't know. I think it's time for him to retire. But if he can be voted out of office and replaced by a Democrat, cool.

Two personal recollections of McCain I'll share.

1. When I was in school McCain came and talked to a class I was in. I don't recall much, but I didn't like the guy. It was a gut reaction and I was too young to give a damn about what he was saying. I don't remember what he was talking about. He seemed insincere and a little reptilian.

2. I was working an outdoor festival in Scottsdale. Food, booze, music were all around. There was a super hot girl in a tiny bikini with a clipboard. She was collecting signatures to recall McCain. I asked why. I don't remember what she said. I only asked so I could continue chatting with the super hot girl in the tiny bikini. I recall she was adamant about her disdain for him as a politician. "The worst thing for AZ." She said. I was watching her mouth as she spoke. (I'm easily amused...)

He should say what he really thinks and be willing to lose his cushy job. He's only had it for 25-30 years. He's desperate, saying anything, tapdancing as fast as he can. Let it go. Hang out in one of your 6 houses. Rest. Relax. Write a book. "MAVERICKY" by John McCain.

DEBT

In light of the world economy and the bailout of Greece I have been thinking about DEBT. Now I don't know much about money and that shows in the life I have chosen to live and the field I strive in. But I was wondering, lead to this thought by the LA Times editorial letters, about all the DEBT in the world.

DEBT collected by countries, not debt carried by individuals. There is a difference. I don't have the scale of debt collected by countries nor the opportunities to collect more without a realistic way of paying it back. There is DEBT carried by every country in the world it seems. There are the DEBTS of America carried by the Chinese. There are the DEBTS of Greece now divied up among the EU. These DEBTS amounts into the trillions of dollars, spread out over the planet.

Realistically there's no way anoyone will ever collect on those sums of money. The numbers are so large that they boarder on the absurd. How many zeroes are in a trillion? 12. That's a lot of zeroes. and you have to wonder how do you pay back 12 zeroes worth of DEBT?

You can't. Now I have an idea so mind blowing in it's simplicity that it could never happen. And to make it happen it would have to come as a total surprise so no one could game the system.

Forgive all DEBT. All countries, all individuals. All of it. At this time in history the concept of money and wealth are largely zeroes and ones in a computer somewhere. There is not a pallet full of money (Or hundreds of pallets) being sent to Greece to help their crisis. So, on, say a random Tuesday, wipe out all DEBT. Whatever, and wherever you are in the world all DEBT is gone. Everyone starts at ZERO. And what you do from there is your own fucking fault.

Because, really, do the people holding the DEBT really expect to collect on it?

But I'm just a naive actor and am barely scraping by, so what do I know of world markets?

Reunions

I went to my high school reunion years ago and found it to be strange.

In high school I was short and skinny and didn't really grow until I got into college. I was also a year younger than everyone else in my class because of my birthday being in December. I was either going to be younger or older than my classmates. It was just a choice my parents made. Being younger kinda sucked. But that's another story.


I went to the reunion late coming from out of town on a late flight. I didn't get a name tag and was wandering around the hotel ballroom. I recognized lots of people and recalled names. Even if they got old, fat, bald etc... I walked up to people i had in 4 years of drama classes and did shows with. I said hello to Kirk and he looked at me. "Hi. Who are you?" I told him and he said, "Oh my god, you look great!" In my mind I didn't think I changed, but I guess I had. This happened all the time that first night. I finally saw someone I went to grade school with and he knew me. It was nice to be remembered.

A girl named Lisa came up to me. I think she had been tipped off to who I was. She said hello. I said hello and asked how she was doing. "I''m divorced, I have 4 kids, and I want to get married again," was her reply. I didn't become a puff of smoke like you see in a roadrunner cartoon, but I thought about it. I didn't laugh at her, but I was thinking, "does that tactic work?" You'd think it would make any man run away in fear.

I found myself to be very different from everyone else there. I had a strange life as an actor in LA. All the other people had real jobs and businesses and I had nothing like that. They were adults and I still thought of myself as a kid, trying to figure it out. Funny thing was they envied me and my life. I was doing what I had a passion for. I had experiences they thought were cool, and my brushes with the glamour of Hollywood was fascinating to them. I also held up better than many. I have hair and I have an athletic body. People were looking their age.

I may go to my next one, but it's strange to me. I have very little in common with them.
My life is weird. Sometimes I would like to be normal.

...Then What?

I have been looking around on FB at people I know from the past. People I went to high school with, maybe did theatre with in San Diego. Even people from the distant past.

When I see the names of people I knew I have a rush of elation. An OMG moment of "Wow! there's Mala!" or whomever. But then I look around their FB page, learn what I can, see photos of kids and whatnot, and wonder if I should friend them. It would be for nostalgia sake, not because I consider them friends. The connection I'd be making would be superficial. I'd be a small photo in their friend list, another number for the counter. But I got to say, I really wouldn't care much about their day to day life. I don't know if I'd want to know what they had for lunch when they post it on their FB page. It's not really friendship, is it?

I live my life without ever posting much on FB. I have a life, but I don't find it worth much online comment. I don't feel the urge to post every stray thought on my page (I have some very witty ones to be sure.), and shoot me if I get a Twitter account. I don't know. I just don't have a strong urge to contact those I used to know. And if I contact or friend one, I end up on the radar of all their friends. Right now I have 20 people who I have not responded to their friend request.

I guess my litmus test for a friend is someone I have in my phone. I have lots on numbers in my phone. If I never got someone's number, I probably am not that interested in chatting with them. So why would I want to do it online on FB?

A friend of mine posted that she was almost done with the FB thing. I understand. It wasn't that important to her. And I find I like to talk to people on the phone or email or text much better. Or I give only close friends my blog.

I'm glad to know these people are stil alive. Maybe I'll chat with them if they come to a reunion. (If I go myself.) Seeing their names I get a rush of recognition. But that is enough for me.

Unseen Pitfalls of Vampirism

I was watching a vampire TV show recently and a thought crossed my mnd.

You never see a poor vampire.

All the vampires on television and in the movies are very well off. They have castles, loft apartments, houses with sphinxes as decorations. They have great cars and humans under there thrall. Rarely is a vampire poor. You never see a vampire that has a shitty job. They are not busboys at all night cafes or telemarketers waiting for your call on the home shopping network. If they have a job it's a doctor or cop. Something cool. Or sometimes even a Count.

So did the vampires with the cool castles rob their victims after killing them? Or did they leave them alive, broke, but with no memory of the bloodletting or robbery?
Are they theives breaking into places (Wait! They'd need to be invited in!) stealing money and jewelry? They'd be great cat burglers. But if you had a bunch of loot, and you turned into a bat, would all that stuff fall out of your pockets or would you be a pudgy bat? Hmmm...

You'd need to be wealthy because you are going to live forever. Because who would want to live forever but have to work forever. Have you been tired from a long work week? Imagine a couple hundred years of that. You'd walk into the sunlight on purpose.

Another bad thing about being a vampire is all the eyebrow acting. Oh, wait, that was Twilight and it's sequel...

People in Los Angeles drive like SHIT

I was in an accident yesterday. Not going to go into details right now, but at 4 am I'm trying to get back to sleep and the statement, "people in LA drive like SHIT" keeps going thru my head.

Everyday, every single day I drive the streets and freeways of Los Angeles I avoid a minimum of an accident a day. People drive like they are stupid or crazy on the roads. I've seen a Mercedes cross 4 lanes of freeway traffic at 80 mph narrowly missing me and 3 other cars while all the rest of the traffic is going 50 mph because that's as fast as the freeway can travel at that time. It's not nice to say but I wanted that asshole to be a fiery wreck I passed a minute later. He wasn't.

I've seen cars spinning on the freeway in the rain or cross in front of me, in the rain, go up an enbankment on the side of the road and roll. You are driving stupid in the rain. What the fuck are you thinking? Can't get someplace if you are dead.

People are still driving with a cell phone to their ears. Thought that was illegal. Oh, wait, it is. And, sorry, but holding a cell phone away from your ear as you talk is still illegal. Hands fucking free, asshole. I still see people texting. That's illegal too. And probably the most dangerous activity you can do in a car except maybe give the driver a blowjob.

Pedestrians aren't much better. I see people jaywalking all the time. Even if they are 20 feet from a crosswalk, they will jaywalk against traffic instead of walking 20 feet to the light and waiting. I guess death is an okay option if you are running late. Or these people are so important that laws for traffic, jaywalking, and, Hell, even parking do not apply. They are special.

Or they are fucking assholes.

Now you might say I'm in a mood. Well, I am. I was in an accident, have to come up with $500 for the deductible and be inconvenienced by the whole process. My insurance will go up, and it's not like insurance in CA is cheap.

So fuck it. I'm in a mood. And now maybe I can get back to sleep.

Timing part 2

I am perpetually amazed at timing. A lot lately.

I was in a car accident today. If things had worked out differently today, I wouldn't have been in a car accident. If my gym membership didn't need a new card number I would have gone in and worked out. Instead, I went home. I looked at the paper to see when Clash of the Titans was playing in Burbank. 12:10 pm. On a whim I decided to go. If I went to a 3 pm movie, no accident...

All the timing that got me to that point, all the variables are astounding. So it can be said that every moment is a moment where an accident didn't happen because the timing wasn't right. The universe didn't collide in bad or good ways.

I once ran into someone I knew in college when I was in Europe. I was in Paris, fresh out of school and a randomly picked resturaunt was where I ran into Andy Davids. He walked up and said "hi" like he expected to see me there. Kind of surprising since I hadn't seen him for 2 years when he transferred to a different college. But I then ran into him 4 weeks later in the Tube in London and greeted him like I expected to see him. Also on that trip, in Florence Italy, I ran into people I went to high school with. What amazing timng for those random happy accidents.

So pay attention to the random chance of the world and see what accidents you just avoided. Or not.

Taxes

I was working a gig this past week that brings together several dozen billionaires, hundreds of millionaires and the wannabe rich.

The people on the panels were commenting constantly about "this administration" (i.e. the Obama administration) and how the taxes were killing them. The audience would laugh or murmur knowingly. Yeah, maybe their tax bracket is high but didn't they just drive up in a new Bentley? At one time in the valet area I saw 5 Bentleys parked next to each other.

Someone I worked with at the job commented that "If they were paying a lot in taxes then they are being rich wrong. The super rich know the loop holes or hire accountants and attorneys for that purpose."

Good point. So the snide remarks were for the chior of rich folk in the room. An inside joke. I bet if the government; city, state, and federal didn't fix potholes the rich would bitch about how the potholes hurt the rims of their Bentleys.