I have been looking around on FB at people I know from the past. People I went to high school with, maybe did theatre with in San Diego. Even people from the distant past.
When I see the names of people I knew I have a rush of elation. An OMG moment of "Wow! there's Mala!" or whomever. But then I look around their FB page, learn what I can, see photos of kids and whatnot, and wonder if I should friend them. It would be for nostalgia sake, not because I consider them friends. The connection I'd be making would be superficial. I'd be a small photo in their friend list, another number for the counter. But I got to say, I really wouldn't care much about their day to day life. I don't know if I'd want to know what they had for lunch when they post it on their FB page. It's not really friendship, is it?
I live my life without ever posting much on FB. I have a life, but I don't find it worth much online comment. I don't feel the urge to post every stray thought on my page (I have some very witty ones to be sure.), and shoot me if I get a Twitter account. I don't know. I just don't have a strong urge to contact those I used to know. And if I contact or friend one, I end up on the radar of all their friends. Right now I have 20 people who I have not responded to their friend request.
I guess my litmus test for a friend is someone I have in my phone. I have lots on numbers in my phone. If I never got someone's number, I probably am not that interested in chatting with them. So why would I want to do it online on FB?
A friend of mine posted that she was almost done with the FB thing. I understand. It wasn't that important to her. And I find I like to talk to people on the phone or email or text much better. Or I give only close friends my blog.
I'm glad to know these people are stil alive. Maybe I'll chat with them if they come to a reunion. (If I go myself.) Seeing their names I get a rush of recognition. But that is enough for me.
1 comment:
this is an interesting conundrum. (Hey, did you see THAT!?!!? I got to use the word "conundrum!)
I too have searched for people from my past and was happy to find them, but didnt want to include them in my present. So, I dont "friend" them, I just them a message. then we swap stories of who we were back then, how we got here, what our lives are like now, and then it dies a natural death. Twice I've had one of these old friend then send a friend request, but I wrote back the truth" its so fun to catch u, but i keep my FB account very small and lets just let this be a hello. both times the other person said they totally understood. just an idea if you want to try it. it IS fun to swap those "What have you been doing" stories.
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