Friday, January 20, 2017

Today America Died

What we once knew as a progressive forward thinking nation died.
The lockdown of information and the rolling back of good things government can do have already started.
It's going to be a long 4 years.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Little Black Cat Update

Yes. I've not been posting since July. I've been busy. or not busy or I had nothing to say or I had too much to say.

There has been just so much fucked up shit going on in the country and the world I was too disheartened to post funny or scathing rants about drumpf, or the grabbers of pussy party, or Syrian war or the thought that there could be world war 3 because of a tiny handed baby twittering in the White House.

It's all so horrible.

So I'll give you an update on the feral cat I've been feeding for about a year.

He fucked off.

Granted, I was just the human sap who was feeding him when he would show up at my door, but since about mid September he's only shown up twice. I kept going to the kitchen door many times in about a 3 hour period from 4-7 pm looking to see if he was stoically waiting for me. He never meowed. Feral cats don't do that I guess. But he would stand like a statue and then move away as I came out with a dish of wet cat food.

But it became weeks since I'd seen him. I rarely ever saw him in the neighborhood in the daytime, he was that elusive. After about a month I stopped worrying about him. I'd maybe open the kitchen door a  couple times in that block of time. But since it's now cold I didn't leave the door open and look for him to come to the screen door like a shadow to wait for food.

I gave up. He was either dead or had found another source of food.

Then before thanksgiving the cat shows up at the door. I still had several cans of food, but you ungrateful little fuck, you could have called to tell me you were alive! Sent a text or something. I gave him the food because I'm not a monster, but I gave it to him ironically.  

Then last week I look out my kitchen window and he's laying in the front yard and occassionally looking at the window nonchalantly. Fuck you, cat. You think you can come expect a free meal after you go on a 3 week meth binge?

So I gave him food. Shit! I'm in an abusive relationship with a cat.

Haven't seen him since. 

Thursday, July 28, 2016


I got the chance to hang out with a couple last week for an extended period of time. I was around in those private personal moments where there was seemingly innocent interactions which could really hurt deep down.

The guy was putting on a costume and said, "I'm fat." Now I hadn't seen him in a year or more and he was thicker around the waist as is common in relationships when there's regular sex and good food. People get comfortable. His girlfriend replied, in a sing song reassuring voice, "You're not getting fat."

His statement is something I learned in an acting class a long time ago. You, or a character, will say certain things so there can be a contradictory reply;  a reassuring response to the "I'm Fat." comment. People say things like that so they ARE contradicted with a soothing response. Because if someone agreed with them that, "Yes, you have put on some pounds." Feelings are going to be hurt. Or a reply of, "Go to the gym." is just as mean. You are fishing for, "No, you aren't fat."

These little lies keep society and relationships going.

I was walking down the street and 2 men were walking toward me. I heard one of them say, "Tomorrow I'm going to start going to the gym." This caught my attention. I almost blurted out, "No, you're not." Because how many times has that sentence been uttered? Billions probably. And how many people get their ass to the gym? Like every New Year's Resolution, "I'm going to join a gym and lose weight." A valiant statement, but by the end of February most gyms go back to the normal attendance.

It's easy to be fat. It's hard to actually do something about it.

Move more. Eat less.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Not A Typical Thursday

5 police were murdered in Dallas yesterday. 7 more were wounded. 2 civilians were also wounded by a domestic terrorist. I'm not going to type his name. Because, fuck that guy.

The news was originally saying there were multiple shooters and had a picture of a guy with a rifle attending the rally. They said he was a person of interest. In Dallas, open carry is legal. Which is weird. What does the guy carrying a gun around gain? Safety? Or does he just scare the shit out of everyone who sees him with a rifle? Because If I see a stranger openly brandishing a gun, I'm going to probably get away from them. I don't know them or their intent. I'm not going to assume he's a good guy with a gun. The police found him and questioned him. He said the rifle he was carrying around was unloaded. Really? Then why are you carrying it around? You just like the freaked out looks people give you when you are walking around with a gun? Can't save the day with an empty weapon, Rambo. What's your motivation? Couldn't legally walk around with your cock out so the gun is a substitute?

But I digress.

The shooter was pissed off about the police shootings this week of 2 black men. So he went to kill cops. When he was confronted in a parking garage the Dallas Police Department talked to him for hours and hours. He said he wanted to kill white cops and white people in general. They could tell he wasn't going to surrender. Rather than having a SWAT team put in harms way storming this guy, they had a robot roll in with a bomb. The bomb exploded and killed him.

This was the appropriate action. No one in the news has said it was the wrong thing to do. But also no one, not one person in the news, has said they were bothered by a robot delivering a bomb to blow some asshole up. I'm totally fine with the police blowing him up. He deserved it. He was evil. But I've never heard of police blowing someone up because it was the safest option. Merry Christmas, the robot has something for you. BOOM!!!

I'm glad he died, but I'm a bit vexed by the cops with bombs thing.  Which would be an interesting movie title.  
Cops with Bombs.  
or maybe
Robot Cops with Bombs.

What a strange world we live in. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2016


I pay attention to politics. Probably too much. On my FB feed I get news updates. And I comment on the stories sometimes. I usually comment in ways that are snarky but also along the lines of the truth. Or the truth from my perspective. Because, isn't that we have? Our truth or view of it?

People reply or like the comments. I don't really care what they say. They have their own opinion and I was foolish enough to put out my opinion in an online forum. The replies to my comments show more about who they are than any in person meeting probably ever would.

I left a comment on a CNN story. I don't even remember what it was. I got a number of replies. Some disagreed with my postulation. But then there was one, "You look like a HOMO!!" That puzzled me. If the reply you put out to a comment is a homophobic bullying rant, then you really have no way to win. You have just revealed more about yourself to every person reading the comment section than you normally would riding around with a anti-gay bumper sticker on the back of your beat up Chevy truck.

I followed that thread a bit to see if someone would take him to task for the comment. No one did, but the comment also disappeared in a few hours. He had a fit of decency? Thought better about the hateful comment? Got bored because I didn't engage and protest, "Nuh unh!!" So his trollish behavior was to get a rise out of someone and have a flame war because you have nothing better to do with your day while you pine away at your shitty job in a tiny cubicle? Cool.

I read the comments of some stories without commenting on the story and I'm horrified by the screaming lunacy that abounds in the populace. You can tell what news channel people watch by their views, arguments, and language. It's really kind of sad to see the closed minded people in our country. We have all this freedom to think whatever we want, worship or not worship any way we want, and the hateful shit which comes across in the comment section shows we are one meteor strike away from cannibalism.

Their comments don't refute someone's argument point by point, it is name calling and foul language. Personal attacks on people they will never meet. It is reflected in the presidential candidates. Though one is the uneducated name calling 5th grade bully. I don't mean to disparage 5th graders, but he reflects their rather rudimentary language choices.

I do hope after the election people lighten the fuck up and put away the flame throwers. But I kind of doubt it. The internet is a great place to anonymously savage people who disagree with you.

When aliens find the remnants of our civilization, sometime in the near or far future, I hope they don't find the really ugly hateful part.

Monday, June 6, 2016


I costume. I have won costume masquerades at World Cons. The costumes are good, strong, competent costumes, but the presentations rock. I've been costuming a long time.

Sometime in the 90's someone came up with the term COSPLAY. I don't recall who. I've heard the name, but I don't know if it is true even if I could remember the name. I have to admit I hate the term "Cosplay." I very reluctantly use it, rarely in fact.

The reason is simple. Cosplay, in my mind, has a sexual connotation. Similar to the one I have in my head when I hear "furry." Like cosplayers are dressing up like Spider-man and a cross played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are in a hotel room somewhere fucking in costumes.

Costumer is a better term for the job I do and the amount of time involved. I mainly make recreations of costumes from comics, TV,  and movies. The problem with costuming comic books is that they are drawings. Artists can draw anything they like, but much of the time never think about how the costumes really work. How do you take them on and off? How do you go to the bathroom? Why do I have so many ankle pouches? Things like that.

With superhero costumes you can put seams to get the costume on and off along the lines of the costume designs. With costumes that are variations of normal clothes it is usually easier to get them on and off. Also with the comic book costume it's a challenge to get the color right. I've shopped for fabric while carrying an issue to two with me to get the color matched. Is the color shiny or matte? Is it lycra or some other fabric? Or leather or metal? Is there a texture drawn into the image? These are all very important when trying to get a character correct.

Getting the character to look right is hard. When recreating a movie or TV character I get every video and image I can find. I freeze frame movies or TV shows on Blu Ray, then I take pictures of the costume or the equipment they might have. I will sketch things and count how many ribbons are adorning a coat to get it right. I've made costumes before and after seeing a new angle or photo or the actual piece in person, notice something I missed. Some stitching or the pattern I created or used is wrong. It's crazy how anal retentive I will get about minutiae. For one costume we made muscle suits for the costume to then go over because our skinny physiques were not at all like the superhero size required.  To see us as Wolverine and Sabertooth weighing 155 pounds would have been silly.

So when I hear the word "Cosplay" it makes the serious way I recreate a fictional character's costume seem frivolous. As good as I am, I'm not as good or creative as some of the costumers I know. They are world class craftspeople and do finish work on a costume that would make an Italian tailor jealous.

This play is not frivolous.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016


I've been selling some comic books lately. I have titles I bought because I thought they might be valuable in the future but didn't necessarily like the character. Some of the books are valuable. most are not. I collected comics because I like the characters or the stories or the universe they were in. It was bought to be read and enjoyed and I would talk about what I read with my other comic geek friends.

Now some of what I collected are valuable. But like anything of "value," to sell it you have to find someone else who also thinks its valuable. For example, the Hope diamond is purported to be worth $350,000,000. But you'd have to find someone willing to shell out that ridiculous amount for a hunk of carbon.

Back to comics. The comics I collected for decades are in bags in long comic boxes. They were all carefully read when I bought them. In fact I held them with a folded piece of typing paper so the oil from my hands didn't damage the cover. It wasn't a thing where I planned to sell them and put my kids thru college, but I didn't want to leave finger prints on the covers. Comics now are sold at comic shops with bags and boards to protect them. It keeps the spines of the comics from getting damaged and the pages from getting creased.

I was working a job and talking to a guy I know who goes to comic conventions. I said I had some books to sell. He asked for titles and I gave him a list I had made for a comic dealer I met at wonder con. (Dude, if you had ever called or emailed me back we could have made a deal.) The lists took a long time and encompass the 2100-2300 comics I have in 7 boxes.

The guy at work looked at the list and wanted to see about 20 books. Specific issues of certain titles. I went to the Overstreet's comic buyers guide and looked up these books. They were first appearances of a few character which have become popular. Lobo. Doomsday. Things like that. I looked on eBay to see what the going rates are for the issues he wanted.

When I'm at SDCC I look at the vendors with comic books. They have big walls of books in plastic bags or better yet graded by a company called CGC. And I look at the prices. I have a lot of books which are pretty valuable; if I were able to get the prices they have on their walls.

So I haggled with him about prices. He is a collector of toys and comics and lots of pop culture things apparently. He kept coming back to the condition. Granted he's trying to get the best deal he can, but I, as a seller, don't want to feel like I'm getting taken advantage of just because I need cash.

Eventually I sold him a number of books. It helped my bank account but not as well as I would've liked. He commented later to me saying he had looked at some of the books with a magnifying glass. And there were creases. I found that odd. A magnifying glass. It's a comic book. One that is anywhere from 10-20-30 years old. It's brightly printed newspaper which no one who originally printed them back in the 1930s thought they'd have any value.

I wanted to ask if he read it. If he enjoyed it. I didn't because he was looking for flaws on his newly acquired investment, not as a book to be read and enjoyed.