Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008

Well, it's the end of another year. It went by pretty fast. I remember as a kid it took forever for things to happen. Birthdays, Christmas, summer. But now it just seems like; birthday-birthday-birthday!!

This year was interesting. I went to New Zealand and briefly toyed with the idea of never coming back. It was an awesome place with lots of potential. I went to Austraila, same thing happened. And I could learn how to scuba and spend the rest of my life diving the Great Barrier Reef.
But I came home...

I did a one man show. I had no idea I could do it, and I learned from the director later that I could have quit at anytime. I thought of doing so; the show was a hard thing to do, a lot of work, but I kept going so I didn't disappoint her. Thank God we were not communicating very well, otherwise I wouldn't have done the show.

I worked enough to survive, and prosper a little bit. But any extra I earned went to pay for New Zealand, and the upcoming trip to Sweden.

I want to do better this coming year in many ways. I want to earn more. I want to act in things that will actually pay me. I want to do voice-over in commercials and cartoons. I want to do more commercials. (I barely made SAG insurance. Made it by $10. I'm not kidding. $10.) I'd like to move to a really great place. Or have my upstairs neighbors die in a murder/suicide. Either would be fine.

Regular sex would be great, too.

Monday, December 29, 2008

No Fun in Arizona


You can't have fun in Arizona anymore.

All over the highways around Phoenix there are speed cameras to take pictures of speeders. The funny thing is there are signs up 1/2 mile and 300 feet before the cameras warning you of their use.
Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the speed cameras? Shouldn't they be a $185 surprise? There are cameras in fixed spots but there are also mobile cameras in SUVs parked by the side of the highway. They also have signs warning you of the camera. These can be left anywhere, highways or residential streets. Surprise!
This might catch people who aren't paying attention, but I think it's more likely they will cause people to decelerate quickly and rear end other drivers...

There are also intersection cameras to catch people running red lights. LA has a number of places with similar cameras. While I was in Phoenix, 4 guys dressed as Santa Claus covered up the cameras at an intersection in Tempe. This is against the law. But kinda funny. The video of this can be found on YouTube.

You can't drink and drive in AZ. You can't do that most everywhere, or shouldn't. However, the police also have a mobile DUI processing unit in a big RV. So you get pulled over for imbibing too much, you get taken to the RV and processed. Finger printed, photographed, and blood drawn. This means there's no lag time to have the blood alcohol lower naturally as they are taking you to jail.
Since it's only an RV, where do they put the drunks? In the bathroom? The bedroom? I think that a bunch of drunk people in a bedroom would be a party.

The Scottsdale police are also putting bait cars out in parking lots. The doors are unlocked and maybe the keys are in the ignition. So some guy walking by might see this, jump in and take the vehicle for a ride. The police follow behind, press a button, the engine dies and the doors lock. Trapped. This, I am told, is not entrapment. But it kind of is. It's allowing a persons stupidity to take over because a temptation is laid before them. I wonder how many are teenagers? Just being stupid? However, what does the Scottsdale police do? They put up a sign telling you there may be bait cars.

So, because of Big Brother and all the cops, Arizona is no longer fun.

Empty

I was at a movie screening at the DGA and I saw a girl I was stupid for a couple years back. It was really a ridiculous situation that ended rather ridiculously. And I was destroyed for a while.
I was sitting in a row at the DGA by myself reading a magazine, there were 40 empty seats around me. When she walked in with her boyfriend I was very aware of her and where she was in the theatre. They made their way around the aisles and sat in my row, 2 seats away from me. She had to have seen me.
I thought it very strange, but I was busy with my magazine and pointedly ignoring her because I couldn't think of a thing to say to her.
There was either a lot to say, or nothing to say, or we could chat about the weather.
People sat between us. Later she went to the restroom. After she returned there was a bullshit moment of, "I didn't see you there. I'm sitting in your row."
We had an awkward 3 minute conversation. I had a hard time thinking of things to say or ask. It had been 20 months since I had seen or talked to her.
The movie started and we stopped chatting.
I was a bit surprised by the encounter. I sat talking to her, who I adored, and there was nothing inside me for her.
I had questions or maybe wanted to be mean to her, but it didn't matter. When I got home I read some of the journals I was writing during that hard time and was surprised how pathetic I sounded.

It was a long way from heartsick to empty.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Hollywood Gyms

I go to a gym in Studio City. Gyms are little strange to begin with, but in Los Angeles it's kind of funny.

Most of the people at the gym are in "the Business". All of them are still striving like me, but if you are in the gym at 10 am on a Wednesday you are unemployed in "the Business". At least that day. Tomorrow might be different. The people at the gym at 10 am are still working to accomplish the dream that brought us all here. They don't have it yet... but they have hope.

There are lots of actors there. I have overheard guys talking about their roles in this or that. For example: "I had a gig as an ambulance driver in "Cursed". No lines, but a cool death scene." Dude, you were a featured extra, but you are spinning the tale. Let's be real.

Singers: They have their ipods in their ears and they are singing along full voice, to themselves. Their own music. And they will have a friend put the ipod buds in their ears and listen to this track or that track. Kinda narcissistic. But pretty funny.

Men out number women 10 to 1. And the women get chatted up constantly. It's always fun to watch guys try hard and get shot down.

At my gym I have seen movie stars - both present and past, TV stars, singers, star fuckers and porn stars. And I dont' bug any of them. I go to work out until something hurts, then I go home. Though, none of the famous seem to really break a sweat. Maybe they have their assistants work out for them.

Dreams

I don't wake up in the morning rememberingwhat I dreamt the night before. I think I dream, but I don't recall things I dreamed.

Sometimes I remember something from a dream, usually as I am going about my day I'll flash on going somewhere or doing something I know never happened. It's a little weird trying to remember if I did the thing or dreamed it. Or maybe it's the secret agent programming bleeding thru to my real life. ;)

I do recall some dreams I have over and over. I remember them because they are so familiar from dreaming them multiple times. I have one dream in which I can move things telekinetically. That's right, I can use the Force! And when I wake up knowing I have dreamed this one again, this will sound silly, I try to move something using telekinesis. Got to try right? I have a hope that after dreaming this dream one night, a switch will flip inside my brain, and I will have access to the Force. I'll be able to move things!

That's a lot cooler than going to Atlantis with the crew of the Love Boat.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Women: part 1

I love women. When I walk down the street I only see women. Men are just fuzzy blurs. (Okay, I stole that line from Richard Feynman and QED)

This might become more about me than about women.

Men are task/goal oriented. If there is a problem we try to fix it. Women will talk about it. The discussion doesn't necessarily fix the problem, but they feel better. So in many ways, I have no idea how a woman's mind works. For guys it's like there is an 800 page manual on how women think and whatnot, and chapters 14, 23, 32, 46,& 57 are missing. My good friend says she has no idea how her mind works or what drives her. So on some level, it's good to know I'm not the only one out in the wilderness.

It would be much simpler if a woman would just tell a man, "This is bugging me, please stop it." And most of the time we'll stop. It's that simple. I remember hearing an interview with a 105 year old man and his 103 year old wife. He was asked how it lasted so long. He said, "Two words: Yes, dear."

Women's magazines are mean to women. Cosmopolitan, for example. 28 articles on why you are fat. 39 articles on why men suck. And one article on why you should wake a man with a blowjob. ( I agree with that last one.) Men's magazines, Field and Stream for instance, does not have articles titled, "Why those big fish in the river are laughing at you." Doesn't happen.

My experiences with women are a bit out of the ordinary, I think. Sometimes translation is required. These are 3 things I have heard from women in the past.

1. "Be careful, I mark easy." Translation: I am cheating on someone who regularly sees me naked. I you scratch me he will know...
2. "You are so attentive." Translation: Someone I am involved with now takes me for granted and I feel neglected.
3. "I don't normally do this." Translation: I'm drunk. You're cute.

How did I hear these things? I have been the object of some infidelity in the past. Mostly without my knowledge. Information was kept from me. Like boyfriends, husbands, etc. So why did these women want to cheat?

I'm really cute.

Or maybe the relationship they are in has gotten to that point where they feel they are not getting the attention they used to. Something is lacking; emotion or sex or both. The Grr/Purr factor has become routine. There's also a chance that Life has happened. Everyday work, kids, soccer practice, have taken the edge off the passion. Men also get comfortable and then fat.

Some women have cheated because they know they can get away with it. Me, the object, wasn't that important. Most any good looking Male would be good for a fling. But cheating always starts from the inside.

Eulogies for the Living

A friend of mine died May 27, 2008. Very suddenly from a heart attack.

The funeral turned out to be a crowd of maybe 200-300. A number of people got up and spoke about Oz. And as I sat there I wondered if Oz thought he could fill a room like that. The eulogies were irreverant and loud and there was a lot of laughter. That was the kind of guy Oz was. He wasn't the life of the party. He brought the party. It was a good way for him to be remembered.

Too bad he wasn't around to see and hear it. Afterward the stories continued at the wake/party.

So how about eulogies for the living? Telling someone how much they are loved and appreciated before they die? Because afterward, it's too late. Telling a parent how important they are, or a friend who understands you better than anyone else in the world?

It seems simple, but it doesn't happen often. And sometimes too soon it's too late.