Hollywood Theory

Ok. I think I might have a line on Hollywood and an Idea at it's arcane works. I will be using some course language so fucking get ready.
To get a career going in Hollywood you have to be one of 3 things.

1. GORGEOUS. So good looking that Gods weep when they see you. So hot that people, all people, men and women want to fuck you regardless of your gender. If you have that then you can rule the world! For about 10 years. After that you have to come up with some kind of talent. Otherwise you are thrown on the scrapheap of Fame and become a "weren't you?" Be nice when this phase is happening. If you are hot and an asshole you can probably get away with it for the aforementioned 10 years, but once you are ugly, you are just an asshole.

2. TALENTED. You are so freakishly talented you can stand reading the phone book and be ENTHRALLING. Anthony Hopkins comes to mind. You don't have to be good looking, but it helps. Talent is a candle. Genius is a flame. These people will have careers until they die or get out of the business of their own accord.

3. WEIRD LOOKING. Hollywood has lots of space for the character actor. The peculiar looking guy. You won't be the lead in Oceans 14, but you will always, always be working and in demand. Steve Buscemi for example. Not an attractive guy, but interesting to watch on screen. Every movie needs the funny fat guy best friend. The bug eyed guy on the spaceship yelling, "we're all going to die!"

There are certain archetypes that will always work. When you see them come on the screen you instantly know who they are. So where does that leave me? Fuck if I know. I have a much better idea of the product I am selling than I used to have. But as far as looks go, there are a lot of white guys out there in my age range with much better representation. Sigh. I have talent, but I don't glow when I enter the room.

I was working a PSA Joel Schumacher was directing about condom use. A pretty red head girl was one of the principals. After she left he said "she is going to be a star." Really? Why? Yes I wanted to fuck her, but that doesn't mean she is going to be a star. I saw her in a couple of commercials and a couple print ads, but she hasn't become Julia Roberts. It's probably a good thing she didn't hear him say that.

So, what have we learned?

Fuck if I know. But it took a long time to learn it.