Do you know what asses are? Asses are the human races' favorite thing. We like them on each other; we like them on magazine covers; we even like them on babies. When we are alone we like to scratch them; when there's a fire we like to warm them. And who among us hasn't, in a lonely moment, reached back for a discreet fondle?
We love our asses
When God gave us our asses he had to stick them around the back just so we didn't sit and stare at them all day. 'Cause when God created the ass he didn't say, "Hey, it's just your basic hinge. Let's knock off early." He said,"Behold ye angels I have created the ass. Throughout the ages to come men and women shall grab hold of these and shout My name!"
(Okay. I stole that from the British series Coupling. Jeff says it in the episode, Faithless. It's still hilarious.)
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