View From The Monkey House

I'm finding jury duty to be something like being in a monkey house. I'm trapped in a box looking out. I want to throw my feces (hereafter called shit), or maybe I can borrow some shit to throw, at the other monkeys outside the box. The monkeys outside the box are the lawyers for both the plantiff and defense.

The really annoying thing is the monkeys outside the box are throwing shit at each other and the witnesses. It would be funny if the whole situation weren't so fucking annoying. The lead plantiff monkey is the most bothersome. Asking the same question 4 different ways. It seems the game is to make the witness say what you are trying to get them to say so they support your position. This tactic happens on both sides.

Since it would be improper to throw shit at them (I'd have to produce or procure shit to throw) I'd like to throw other things. Ninja throwing stars; small, pissed off, vicious animals; cluster bombs. Yes, yes, all these things would be very impractical and 2 of the 3 I wouldn't be able to get passed the metal detectors. But, WOW, I'm hating the experience.

I don't think I can ever look at another John Grisham novel or movie again. That's just not the way anything in the real justice system seems to happen. Fucker.