How To Survive Jury Duty Selection

It seems the only sure way out of jury duty is death. I imagine you need a doctor's note to prove you are no longer among the breathing. The Court would not take you at you non-existent, silent word.

There is an air of "I don't fucking want to be here" in the room that was almost palpable. Or maybe it just radiated all from me. Sometimes it was tough to tell as I certainly didn't want to be there. There are many places I don't want to be, but most have something to do with abject poverty and an inability to understand the language.

Anyway, Survival.

You need something to do. As very few people strike up a conversation with another juror, you need something to occupy your time. A book, magazine or newspaper is good. An electronic device; iphone, ipad, ipod, computer or DVD player. Though with the ipad you need to hold it up as it plays videos.

Julia Child's cookbook and a whole duck to prepare would consume a lot of time, though getting it all thru security and the x-ray machine would be tricky. The sharp kitchen utensils would not be allowed. And if you were able to fully dress a duck, what would you do with it? By the time you were able to get it into an oven 7-9 hours later you would have to be concerned with food poisoning. So I guess a duck, while entertaining is quite impractical as a diversion

Okay. That's it for survival. It seems that jury duty is something you must begrudgingly endure. Like leaf blowers or long flights in cramped seats. The only way out is to be dead or a felon. But how big of a felony? If you fill out the jury duty form untruthfully, it's against the law. But is that a felony big enough to keep you from doing jury duty? Hmmm...