Thursday, October 20, 2011

Update on Death


Okay. I was a little bit behind the information curve when I wrote that last post about my friend waiting to die. He died the day before I wrote it. Maybe 2. I don't have the exact information. Mike is in the middle of the first row between the two couples. This was the production of Much Ado About Nothing we did in 1995.

He was a funny guy. The friar in the play is the guy who keeps the whole story from going off the rails and having it become a tragedy. In the wedding scene when Mike did the ceremony, he snuck a little ad lib in there. Since people generally don't get all Shakespeare wrote (I believe Shakespeare wrote his plays. There is an earlier blog about why I believe so. Don't think the movie Anonymous is a documentary.), Mike would slip in the following joke.

Friar: To Honor. Get on her and stay on her.

This would sometimes get a laugh if the audience caught it. But Shakespeare certainly did not write it. Probably the only reason is because he didn't think of it.

He was a member of the Magic Castle and a magician. He also taught me the magic trick of doing a hand pass and making a coin disappear. When I did it for him after practicing, he said, "that was really good." Coming from him, that was a compliment.

He was a funny gracious guy. He will be missed.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Don't really know how to title this one.

A friend of mine is dying. He's an actor I did a number of plays with when I first got to town. A talented humble guy. When you looked at him he looked about 10 -15 years older than he really was. Diabetes had ravaged his body for most of his life. I always freaked me out a bit to see him checking blood sugar and injecting insulin in the dressing room when we were doing plays.

He went back to San Diego to regroup at a certain point. He got married to a really nice lady. She's still with him. He had a multiple organ transplant. Liver and pancreas. Maybe a kidney. I don't really remember. It was at least 2 organs (multiple organs get you higher on the donation list, shows more need.). When he was well enough they had a party so a number of us from the theatre went down and performed for him. It was so nice to see him, and he was so grateful.

I learned today that he'd been on dialysis for 2 1/2 years and also had a couple operations to alleviate some of the pain he was in. I don't have a lot of details. But he recently decided to stop the dialysis and get released. He's at home receiving hospice care and waiting...

This type of death is so sad to watch. The wasting away of a person from a robust funny man to someone wanting to die. And thru all the time I knew him he was incredibly upbeat and optimistic. Probably much more optimistic than I would have the courage to be.

I remember we were doing Much Ado About Nothing. He had the part of the friar who marries Hero and Claudio. There was one or two performances he was in a crazy debilitating amount of pain. I didn't know it because I was onstage much of the time. When he wasn't onstage he was in the dressing room laying unmoving on a couch. When he came out he did a super funny amazing performance. We all commented on it and learned later the circumstances behind it.

I don't know if he's up for visitors, but if he is I'll try to go down. I'll hate to see what has become of him (I'd prefer to remember him as he was. This is the reason I don't do viewings of anyone who passes away. I don't want the last image if them to be in a box.), but I think he'd like a visit.

Monday, October 10, 2011

An Unexpected Wedding

I went to a wedding this past weekend with less than 5 hours to be ready from the time I was invited to the time it started.

I went to see Real Steel. Great flick. Lots of fun. I cried. It's Rocky with robots! How can you not like that? But I digress. My phone vibrated. It was a text from my friend Jen. She was getting married that day. I was not invited because it was a small wedding with LOTS of family. People flew in from other countries! So while I was a bit disappointed it was OK. If things had worked out differently I would have been out of town for the first 2 weeks of October anyway. No worries.

So I went out of the movie theatre into the hallway. I could still see the movie, but I wouldn't disturb the audience. There was a cancellation at the wedding. I could come if I wanted. I replied OK.

I didn't have time to get a gift or a card. I'll do something later. So after the movie I went on with my day and then home to get dressed. The wedding was nice. It was a wedding and the groom was nervous. The minister told him to speak up. And to tell her, the vows, not him. Both big laugh lines. The bride, a trained actress, rocked the vows. And later rocked the Eminem the DJ played when we danced.

After the ceremony, OPEN BAR until 7 pm! YAY!. I drank red wine. I like wine. It works. So I wandered around and chatted with the people I knew. I was funny because that's what alcohol does. Takes the editor off-line. Dinner was announced and I went to the dining room.
I was seated, as someone else, at a table where I knew no one. I finagled my way to a table where I knew everyone. Thanks to the guy who was shooting video who agreed to move. He'd be working anyway... Thankfully the person I was the understudy for ordered the steak. If it had been the veggie plate I would have grumbled and eaten all the dark chocolate treats at the table.

We ate. There were speeches and then dancing. I was solo since I didn't know if there was a +1 with the missing man. Also how do you ask a date, "want to go to a wedding today at 4:30?" That would be crazy. Dancing was fun.

I left at 11 pm. All in all, It was a fine night and I got to see a good friend tie the knot. I wish them all the happiness in the world. And that is a lot of happiness.