Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Don't really know how to title this one.

A friend of mine is dying. He's an actor I did a number of plays with when I first got to town. A talented humble guy. When you looked at him he looked about 10 -15 years older than he really was. Diabetes had ravaged his body for most of his life. I always freaked me out a bit to see him checking blood sugar and injecting insulin in the dressing room when we were doing plays.

He went back to San Diego to regroup at a certain point. He got married to a really nice lady. She's still with him. He had a multiple organ transplant. Liver and pancreas. Maybe a kidney. I don't really remember. It was at least 2 organs (multiple organs get you higher on the donation list, shows more need.). When he was well enough they had a party so a number of us from the theatre went down and performed for him. It was so nice to see him, and he was so grateful.

I learned today that he'd been on dialysis for 2 1/2 years and also had a couple operations to alleviate some of the pain he was in. I don't have a lot of details. But he recently decided to stop the dialysis and get released. He's at home receiving hospice care and waiting...

This type of death is so sad to watch. The wasting away of a person from a robust funny man to someone wanting to die. And thru all the time I knew him he was incredibly upbeat and optimistic. Probably much more optimistic than I would have the courage to be.

I remember we were doing Much Ado About Nothing. He had the part of the friar who marries Hero and Claudio. There was one or two performances he was in a crazy debilitating amount of pain. I didn't know it because I was onstage much of the time. When he wasn't onstage he was in the dressing room laying unmoving on a couch. When he came out he did a super funny amazing performance. We all commented on it and learned later the circumstances behind it.

I don't know if he's up for visitors, but if he is I'll try to go down. I'll hate to see what has become of him (I'd prefer to remember him as he was. This is the reason I don't do viewings of anyone who passes away. I don't want the last image if them to be in a box.), but I think he'd like a visit.

2 comments:

shelly blaisdell said...

wow. hard to read. After three days of holding my breath, I just got word that one of my very best friends does NOT have cancer. Reading your post was the trigger I needed to cry just a little. Thanks.

You going to go visit?

Aging bodies. Attitude. Point of view. Choices.


verification word of the day is . . . Fremary!

spartacus said...

No. I found out he died 2 days before I wrote this. The information was a bit slow getting to me. Writing an addendum.