Monogamy

I find monogamy to be a little odd. How in the world are two people supposed to find one another captivating for the rest of their lives? Love is one thing, Lust is another. Both can work simultaneously in the form of a person. But they can also work separately.

Love grows over time. Lust can walk thru the lobby of  a hotel, and you would like to sleep with that woman.

I don't know. My folks have been married for over 45 years. How many years I really don't know the exact number. I have some friends who have been married for less than 20. A few years back they opened up the marriage to other sex partners. Why? It was not going well, they were not happy as it was, and divorce wasn't really an option they would consider. So rather than throwing the whole relationship in the dustbin, or staying in a bad marriage, they expanded. It appears to have worked well. I don't judge. It's not the first swingers I've known. Or Poly arrangements I have known.

Let's face it, sex is fun. And though the super religious say god frowns on anything but man and woman marriage, I think it was a way for the church to control people. Because if you look in the bible for marriage definitions, you end up with guys that have multiple wives and concubines. There's verses that say if a soldier rapes a woman from another country, they are now married. ?!?! Fucking really? That's gonna be a great loving marriage. Not! Of if a brother dies, he has to marry the wife of the brother. Again, really? That doesn't make sense.

But so much of the bible doesn't make sense. People would tell you that is the old testament and is not used in Christianity. You say Potato/ I say Studebaker. Picking and choosing what you use out of a religious tome to suit your argument has always struck me as dishonest.

Controlling sex was a way to control people. And the ones who wanted to control sex say god doesn't like ________________. Fill in the blank. Whether it's straight, gay , bisexual, there's going to be someone somewhere trying to control what people do in the privacy of their own homes.

For most of the natural world, mating happens only when females are in heat. Primates can fuck at the drop of a hat. For most of human sex doesn't produce offspring. Why do we do it? It's fun. Sex is fun. New partners are a rush. You have no idea how they are going to react, what they look like sound like, feel like, smell like. It's exciting to be with someone new. There's a flood of endorphines and oxytocin. The brain releases a soup of chemicals.

I understand idea of monogamy but I always seem to think there's swinging going on that we don't know about. So having an unrealistic expectation for monogamy seems foolish. If a married couple of 20 years has sex 3 times a year, say birthdays and anniversary, well, what good is the marriage? It probably exists in a state of quiet discordance. I have looked in cars as I've been driving and I can usually tell the couples that have been together a long time. They aren't talking or engaged with each other. That I find sad. I'd rather be alone than in a relationship that is quiet and tense. 

So what brought this around? Fuck, I don't know. Just thinking out loud. Kind of wish I was swinging thru the trees of swinging.