Going Missionary

I don't mean the sexual position, but proselytizing. While I was housesitting in Culver City two teenage girls from some bible study school or program came to the door.

The girls asked if I had ever heard of God, the Mother, or the Bible. I said I was good. No thanks. And they went away. But then I thought about it. God, the Mother, and the Bible? It usually would be God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Maybe that's too Catholic.

At my apartment I don't get missionaries. Hell, I don't get trick or treaters on Halloween. They go across Lankershim to Toluca Lake. More expensive homes there and probably better candy. But I digress.

I have read a lot of the Bible. I have read the book of Mormon. (Total made up bullshit if you ask me. Much of it plagiarized by Smith from the Bible.) I have read some of the Koran. I think the creation myth in the Bible was plagiarized from Enuma Elish; the Babylonian/Sumerian creation myth and adapted. (Look it up. What am I thinking? Google it. No one looks things up anymore.) I have a curious mind when it comes to belief.

After they left I realized I could have asked them a bunch of questions that they probably didn't have answers for. I might have done that with some older people, but this might have been shooting drunk fish in a small barrel. These kids were ready to spread their view of the universe, but I don't think they were ready to meet anyone else's view.

When it comes to religion, I only have questions. And I don't buy into the answers that people give me...

Dick Van Dyke

Since I was a little kid I have been a fan of Dick Van Dyke. I remember watching the Dick Van Dyke Show on KPHO in Phoenix. It was on weekdays at 12 noon. It was funny. I liked the characters and it was really, really well written. All these things I knew nothing about. It was funny and it made me feel good to watch the show. It was a reliable old friend to hang out with in the middle of the hot summer days.

I recently bought all 5 seasons of the DVD show on DVD. So as the summer TV is all repeats I will pop a disc in and watch 4-6 shows. I never really knew what order they were in because the show was not shown in order when I was a kid. The show still makes me laugh out loud. It has a timeless quality to it. Though it was shot in the early 1960's there are no obvious references that set it in the 60's. They never mention the music, or television or movies of the time. It was planned by Carl Reiner to be that way. You could go for a cheap laugh with a Beatles reference, but then it places the show in a specific time in the culture. The situational humor is all stuff that is relatable to a family right now. It involves work, home life, & kids. All the things that humans do and find difficult and get insecure about. It is the human condition. And after a 5 year run they ended the show on top. There was no decline as ideas and performers got stale. It wasn't about wringing every last cent out of a show, it was about producing a great, funny show.

I was watching Seinfeld recently. It seems very dated with some of the humor. It was very 90's specific. I never noticed it but it seems the best shows avoid dating themselves with time sensitive material. A Beiber joke now might be funny and timely, but what happens when Beiber becomes Leif Garrett?

I recently bought and read DVD's autobiography. There were large portions about the DVD show. It was interesting to read about the show I was currently going thru. Certain episodes were mentioned and I had seen them only days before so they were still fresh in my mind. He also talks about his movie career and other television shows he did.

He also talked about being an alcoholic. Even now most people didn't know he was an alcoholic. He wasn't a bad drunk like you get with some hollywood types today. He was an at home drunk. He also smoked like a chimney, which is funny since one of his most famous roles is as a chimney sweep in Mary Poppins.

What I did learn was he was optimistic about things and kind of fell into this great life of performing without too much planning. Some early opportunities he chose because he had a family and needed the money to feed and shelter them. He almost retired from performing half a dozen times, but kept coming back to it because it was fun. Which is the best reason to be a performer.

Just watching his performances you can see he is having a blast.

How to Become a Politician, Maybe Even President

Don't do anything stupid that can be brought up later.

This of course, means that someone would have to decide at the age of 5 that they want to become President of the United States or a senator. The next step is to never do anything on line, on facebook, twitter, or whatever next generation of social media turns out to be. Don't have your picture taken with a beer. Don't take a picture of your private parts and send them to anyone. Don't send a sexy message via text.

I may be going to extremes here, but in light of the latest congressional sex scandal, (one that actually included no sex.) it just goes to show that sometimes intelligent people do really stupid things. All these electronic gadgets and footprints can come back to haunt a person.

I think the voter expectation that a candidate for anything be pure and chaste is unrealistic. This is what we would like. It's not what we get. Politicians are human. And like humans, you can start out with the best intentions, but the road to Hell is paved with Lobbyists. I don't think there isn't a congressman who hasn't dealt with some lobbyist at some time.

As far as sex scandals go, when it happens in an average person's life that sucks. You hurt your spouse, the kids, and may get a divorce. But when you are a politician and you get caught with a wide stance or banging prostitutes, it becomes a big deal. You get dragged thru the mud by the press. The left, the right, and the CNN's of the world love a scandal. But so do we all. "Look at him! He got caught." It makes us feel superior.

I find lobbyists buying our government for big corporations much more offensive than any sex scandal that is something consensual among adults. Sex is funny. It makes humans do stupid things. It's dangerous and sexy and even more so when you think you are getting away with something. This is a digital sex scandal. Bill Clinton got a blow job. Anthony Weiner rubbed one out while talking dirty to a girl or texting/typing with one hand. Should he be kicked out of office? I don't know. Can he do his job for the people of New York or is he going to be dealing with this scandal that his crazy behavior created?

He had to know it was wrong. But it was exciting and that clouded his thoughts... The chances of it coming to light were almost 100% since no secret can be kept in today's world. So now he pays the price for being stupid and human.

The small solace I get from all this, like most sex scandals involving the democratic party, it involved women. Republicans look so bad when all their sex scandals involve men and boys since they run on conservative anti gay platforms.

Sarah Palin is still an Idiot

Sarah Palin was in the home town of Paul Revere yesterday, at his house, not running for president. She was visiting historical sites on a bus trip while not running for president. So I guess it could be called a family vacation... with the press corps following. Going around New England in a tricked out bus wrapped in the Constitution and your PAC website URL is a stupid way to travel if you want to go on a family vacation. But Sarah Palin doesn't know how to be unnoticed.

A member of the press asked her about Paul Revere since she was in his house, and what was his significance. I swear I transcribed this word for word. I rewound the DVR about a dozen times to get it right. Here is her answer about Paul Revere and his famous ride...

"He who warned the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms. By ringing bells and, um, by making sure as he's riding his horse thru town to send those warning shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free. And we were gonna be armed."

Word for word. That was her nonsensical answer because she doesn't know anything about history or Paul Revere. She will probably say that it was a "gotcha" question like, "What do you read."

Now, even I remember a few snippets of "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. It was something we heard in grade school. "Listen my children and you will hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere." And the only other line that stuck with me was, "One if by land and two if by sea." (Lanterns in the bell tower.) That was all I remembered but it's still enough to know that he was warning the militia that the British were coming and from what direction.

It had nothing to do with telling the British to keep their hands of our guns! The NRA had not been invented yet and to come up with that from Paul Revere, you got to be an idiot. Why the press is following her like puppies is ridiculous, but they are waiting for her to say something crazy or inflammatory or super extreme, and she rarely disappoints. I really wished the media would stop giving her a microphone and camera to talk into. She's an idiot but a master at keeping her name in the press.

She will never be president. She might be a fun train wreck to watch, but you wouldn't want her in the White House. Her skin is far too thin and she would send a nuclear strike to any country that affronted her. And, Oh yeah, she's an idiot.

(This blog is covered by Freedom of Speech, baby. Look it up in the Constitution. And as far as calling someone an idiot, I'm at the back of a long line in this case.)