Donald Trump = Zaphod Beeblebrox

I was reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy the other day. As it introduced Zaphod Beeblebrox, I started drawing parallels with Donald Trump

Zaphod has 2 heads. The added one is considered less attractive than the original. Trump only has one head, but his hair is weird and is brought up in derisive ways by people slamming Trump.

Zaphod became Galactic President as a scam. Trump doesn't really want to be president. Not really. It's an ego driven scam being played out on America.

Zaphod was elected by low information voters. Trump's base of support is a bunch of low information supporters. Tell them the truth about the man or his businesses and business practices, and they deny it. Say  it's not true.

Zaphod as president is an infuriating and fascinating character. Trump is too.

Zaphod didn't use the prepared remarks before he stole the Heart of Gold spaceship. And the media loved it. Trump doesn't use prepared remarks. He speaks extemporaneously and goes off on tangents as the audience reacts to his speech.

Zaphod is described in the book as a "good-timer, (Crook? Quite possibly.), manic self publicist, terrible at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.
An internet search of adjectives for Trump: Maniac, narcissist, self-promoter, arrogant, blowhard, idiot, clown, egomaniac, pompous, showman, bombastic.

So.
There you go.
Donald Trump is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Without the good parts.

Feral Cat Mojo

                                             The cat under my building circa 2011.

The little black cat came to the short chain link fence around 5 o'clock. I'd spent the day hiding from the early September heat in my apartment. I saw him look from the neighbor's yard into the yard of my apartment. I hadn't put out any food for a couple days because of work and my schedule being weird.

Earlier in August I saw the cat in the front yard of my apartment and thought about him. Because of the drought very few people were watering like they used to, so what was he drinking? There have been 2 bowls sitting in the yard, from when someone was leaving food, I'm guessing for him, for a very long time. Since temps were over 100 for a few weeks I left the cat water. And one day I felt bad for him so I left a can of tuna out from my pantry.

This cat has been wild in my neighborhood for over 5 years. I've not thought much about him (I don't know it's gender so I'm calling it  "him.") ever, really. He's never been with people that I can tell. His manner is very  wary and careful, always looking around; ready to bolt at the first sign of danger. He passes like a shadow in the night. He used to be under my building 5 years ago, though no one knew how he gained access. I don't know where he sleeps now.

I had picked up cans of cat food and been putting it out on a semi-regular basis in the metal bowl, usually at night. I don't know where he gets his food; birds, rats, mice, bugs? It's got to be a tough life, so I thought I'd help out and give him a free meal every once in a while. Extra calories to keep living. But I've never put out the food at a certain time. Being a wild cat, he doesn't have a schedule or place or time. He just is.

When he came to the fence today I thought about it. Usually he disappears when I go out my kitchen door and doesn't return. I got a pitcher and filled it with a bit of water. I opened up  the tin of cat food I had in the pantry. It was a pate style. A big clump of wet brown something with what looked like egg? I unlocked the security door and prepared myself. Out in the rocky front lawn there are fleas. I don't know if there are a lot, but in previous excursions to the front yard, some have jumped on me and hitched a ride into my apartment. A steam cleaning of the rug and flea bombs seemed to remedied the matter, however.

I rushed out, slopped the water into the bowl and dumped the clump of cat food in the other bowl. I retreated back to my door and inspected my legs. I was quick, under 15 seconds, and no fleas had found me.

I stood at my kitchen window and watched. The cat came to the other side of the fence and looked around. I lost it behind a tree as it moved away. Then it appeared at the end of the fence in my front yard. It slowly padded toward the food scanning the area carefully. It sniffed as it got near the food bowl. The food must have been okay because it started eating immediately and looked around in between bites. He was ready to flee at the first sign of trouble. I was thinking it would throw up from eating so fast. Cats and food can be a bit weird.

Something spooked him and he ran out of view. When the coast was clear he came back and continued to eat. It finished off the whole can of food. I have put out food before, but usually after dark so I didn't know if the cat was eating it or maybe a squirrel or rat. This time I had proof the intended animal ate the food. After he finished he had a quick drink. The he walked toward my window, sat down, and groomed himself a bit. He was watching me. Did he know I was his benefactor? Did he care? Was I just some sucker to feel sorry for this hungry little cat?

I figure I'm never going to pet him. He doesn't get close enough to anything to be touched or handled. There's no collar on him so he's a wild cat. I watched him a little bit and the animal lover (sucker) in me wondered if it were possible to fix his situation. He'd been doing okay for over 5 years without me. He probably wouldn't do well if he were captured and adopted. I don't want a cat. I don't have a living situation that is conducive to pet ownership. But I like that I can help out this one cat just a bit.

Though I do wonder if I give this cat food on a semi-regular basis, is it going to fuck up his feral cat mojo? Will he become dependent on me to give him food?

What the fuck?

A guy in South Carolina shot and killed 9 people in a church. After sitting there in bible study with them! For an hour.

What an evil fucker this guy was. He also let some people live and told them to tell people about what he had done. So basically this guy will be revealed to be a loner and racist and evil and felt deeply invisible. So what  does he do to get noticed? Kills a bunch of people in a church. Because instead of doing something great, being talented, this fucker decides that killing people is the way to be noticed in this 24/7 news cycle. The news will now have this LOSER'S name in the news for 3-5 days.

I'm not going to say his name here, but you big pussy, you want to get noticed but you didn't go out in a big cinematic gunfight with the police. Now we have to watch as you sit in court and go to jail for the rest of your life.

Donald Trump, Candidate for School Yard Bully

After 4 flirtations with running for President, Donald Trump has thrown his hat into the ring for President.

It's rare to see a candidate for anything call the others running, LOSERS. Just flat out calling them losers. There is mud slinging in politics, granted. It comes with the territory. But to call someone a loser and make fun of them, it cheapens politics.

Trump is a showman. He's a huckster. Starting with his announcement, he said he sold a Chinese guy an apartment for ten (then he changed it mid thought) fifteen million dollars. On Morning Joe he said the same statement about the apartment, but the selling price had gone up to $55 million. I guess he thought $15 million didn't sound impressive enough.

His general thought is that money is the end all and be all of everything. The more money you have the more important you are. If you have no money you're a LOSER. By this definition 99% of the people in the USA are LOSERS.

Everything he does is HUGE. Or as he pronounces it, UGE. He forgets the H.

The problem with his candidacy is he will get on the debate stage and call Jeb Bush a LOSER. And what happens then? Does the network admonish him? He's already said it. Does JEB! fight back? How does that look?

You're a LOSER Jeb.

No, I'm not! That's the reply of a third grader on the playground.

There's really no good way to respond to that kind of attack on stage.
Humor? "Well, with 4 bankruptcies in your business life you seem to be the biggest loser on the stage. Are you switching to The Biggest Loser once you get out of this race?"
Attack? "You going to talk to Iran like that? Right you have a secret plan to defeat both Iran and ISIS. Elaborate on that"

Well. It might not be that hard to fight him on a debate stage. But then he would just throw bigger bombs and security would have to come in and wrestle him away.

Everything about Trump is he's the best, he's the biggest and when I hear people talk like that, constantly bragging and putting other people down,  I think they are compensating for deep insecurities and a small...

Titles in Politics

It's a bit odd, but if you are a politician, after you are out of the office, your title follows you. Such as, Senator So and So. You could be out of office decades but the title is what people use instead of Mr. or Mrs.  when announcing the person.

And if, say, you had a number of jobs in politics, senator and congressman, the one with higher value is the title used. Or if the titles are about the same value, the latest title is used.  So for Hillary Clinton there are 3 titles; First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State.

It's a bit weird in the real world to have your job title follow you around. I'm not introduced as Rigger Brad. Or there's not IT Larry. Or Walmart Greeter Bud. But in politics the title is everything. Also in politics, once you are out you sort of stay in. There's lobbying and public speaking to do. Which pays much better than working at Walmart.

Vegas

I was working in Las Vegas for a week. It was a business conference. I was staying at a hotel about an 8th of a mile away from the hotel the conference was at. As I would walk back to my hotel from the conference I would see all sorts of people. Las Vegas gets visitors from all over the world. And all over the USA. Because it was in May and the weather had started getting hotter, I saw women in bikinis with sheer wraps or shirts over the tiniest of bikinis. It was actually a little strange and weird. Nowhere else would you see a bikini as evening wear. And I know it was evening wear because of the "fuck me pumps" high heels they were wearing. You don't see people dressed like that in Paris.

There were lots of people out in Vegas looking to have a good time. Drinking and loud carousing. It was not unusual. The dress of the women was generally an impossibly small dress and incredibly high heels. After a night of drinking the heels were a problem and I saw a number of women crash and burn as they drunkenly staggered down the strip.

Also, all over the streets were performers of some kind. Musicians playing drums, a really good guitarist who played it flat on his lap with all parts of the strings used to make music. And for the tourists, people in costumes who were dressed as the Avengers or showgirls or minions or the snowman from Frozen. then there was one night there were the 2 women above. She and her friend were getting pictures taken with people or passing out flyers for a strip club. I don't know. I was merely passing by and took this picture because, well, boobs. She had gaffers tape over her nipples and in silver sharpie was written "Censored." It was kind of funny.
 

In the early mornings I would walk to work. I'm talking around 5:30 am. By this time all the revelry and fun for the night are over and you see the seedy side of the town. People staggering by on their way to whatever lodging they had. I interacted with hookers almost every day I was headed to work. One looked at me as we were passing each other on an escalator, thought of hitting me up to be one last trick for the night, then she noticed I was in a suit. At 5:30 am. "You going to work?" She asked. "Yes, I am." I said as I passed her, reached the top, and headed on my way.

You saw homeless people in the crowds on the strip, but in that sea of humanity you didn't really notice them. They were just slower and shabbily dressed. In the morning on the way to work I would pass a grating which emanated heated air from some underground machinery. There were always people asleep on the grate. I always kind of wondered about their stories. They had to come from somewhere and somehow ended up sleeping on a grate to keep warm. The people, including me, just walked by. Or jogged. I did see people jogging at that time of day. Training never stops for some people.

One of these days I will go to Vegas with friends to partake of the drunken shenanigans. The week I was there I was never up past 10 pm. I was tired and needed rest...

99 Thoughts About Los Angeles Theatre.

Okay. It's not really going to be 99 thoughts, but it made for a good title.

When I moved to LA after doing regional theatre in San Diego, I looked closely at AEA, the stage actors union. Should I join? After asking around to fellow actors I was doing shows with in the 99 seat waiver theatres, I decided not to join. Why? In LA there were only about 3 full on big equity houses in the area I was willing to drive. Ahmanson, Pantages, and the Geffen. If you were not acting in them, there was no reason to join Equity. So I didn't.

The union had always hated the 99 seat plan. They thought it was nothing important and the work there was not valuable because the actors were not under an equity contract. (For the rest of this blog I will not capitalize "equity." To show the same disdain they have shown their members.)

I have worked at a number of small theatres that were under the 99 seat plan. At no time did I feel like I was doing lesser work than I had at larger theatres. In fact at the smaller theatres I had the opportunity to do large challenging parts. "Woe is me, I'm not getting paid." No, but I played Mercutio, Fluellen, Dogberry, Don Pedro, Moon in The Real Inspector Hound, Dick in Play It Again, Sam, Theseus, Schmendiman, to name a few. I also helped out and did some understudy roles.

I got to play some great classic roles. Some great contemporary roles. Was the experience diminished because I was not making $9 an hour? Not at all. I had a blast on stage. I love to act. To play those roles is a delight. I understood the financial situations at the theatres I was working at and would never insist to get paid $9 an hour if paying me or the rest the cast would put the theatre out of business.But every actor has to come up with their own benchmark. Get paid in the last production a theatre ever  does, or not get paid.

equity wanted to destroy the plan. So they came up with a plan to destroy small theatres in LA. They put it to a vote for the membership in LA; a non-binding vote. equity didn't have to do what the vote said. The votes cast for the election were 44% of the people they sent ballots to in LA. The votes were 2 to 1 against the plan. You might think 44% is not even 50% of equity actors in LA. But the national equity elections for the president and board members, councilors etc. get a turn out of 10%. 10%. Seriously, 4 times the number of actors voted in the referendum than vote for who runs the union. Tells you they hit a nerve.

This advisory vote was completely ignored by the union and they decided to nuke small theatres in LA. Thing is, if I was running a small theatre I would make it a non union house. No equity actors allowed. You think non union actors suck? Nonsense. In LA they just don't see much use for an impotent rather useless entity which works against the wishes of their members.

One of the small theatres in LA was run by someone who might be considered crazy. I don't know if it ever turned a profit. It might have broken even but it never made a profit on a month to month, year to year basis. It was kept alive by the sheer will and money from the producer. He was selling real estate to create art. I'm not saying he was a real estate agent, he was selling pieces of property he owned to keep the doors open. He is an extreme example. But other theatres are funded more out of pocket than from any box office the plays bring in.

There are no angels or billionaires that fund small theatres. If you look at the business of it, it seems a stupid idea. You are almost guaranteed  to lose money. If a patron funds a theatre, it's a 2000 seat house and their name goes on the building.

In the big equtiy houses in LA you get 2 out of 3 filled with touring shows. Musicals out of NYC. Lion King, Book Of Mormon, things like that which are cast out of NYC. In the smaller theatres you get challenging theatre. Plays with guts that make you think and ones that may offend. It's not safe. But because it's not safe there's no certain audience. There's no name recognition to pull in an audience.

Should actors get paid? Yes. But there's no money to pay them. The producers are going to extraordinary lengths just to keep the  doors open and lights on. Should theatre be able to support actors with a living wage? Yes. In LA is it likely to happen? Probably not. This isn't NYC. There is no tourism related to going to theatre. Tourists go to Disneyland and to the beach. The economics of running a venue are almost prohibitive. Rents are high, there's very little audience, ticket prices would not directly keep a theatre open. If it did, they would be the cost of a Broadway show.

equity seems to want to only have to deal with 12 theatres instead of hundreds of small ones. equity makes no money off small theatres. So they wish them dead. I don't really understand their hatred. Leave them alone. Actors want to act. And if they are okay with not getting paid for it, what's the problem? You want to get paid for theatre? Go to New York City. No one comes to LA to be a theatre actor. They do it for love of the craft and as a way to keep sharp for when they have auditions. Doing plays is more challenging than going to a class. It takes dedication and perseverance. And the results can sometimes be better than sex.

Writers just need a Starbucks, artists need whatever medium they work in.

Actors need theatres.